[That's the real question of all of it, what does it mean for her to get better? She's letting out a small frustrated noise and setting her cup down again to rub at her face. What does it really mean? At this point she's not sure, because what she's tried has only ended up in her exploding at people instead and is that really better?]

It... might have been for the better anyway, I guess. Since it might have been a little questionable in the first place and sure as shit not legal back home. [Age differences are utter shit as far as she's concerned, but what she had heard of that history also didn't make her more keen to get involved with him, but to back off instead.

Was it a good idea to continue that mess?]

I... guess it'd be not being as aggressive and abrasive as I am, which isn't an easy thing to fix to begin with. When you're used to fighting tooth and nail for someone just looking at you the wrong way to keep up and image. Or to protect yourself if someone comes after you for supposedly being weak.

Or, you know, just holding onto your anger because of the bullshit in your life that you can't do a damn thing to fix because it doesn't involve you in the long run and it's not your place.

[This is going further than she had meant for it to, really.]

I'm sure he hates me now, anyway, after the shit I said. But it hurt and I had told and showed him things I hadn't to anyone else and it just got thrown back in my face instead.