[It isn't about deserving? But then how can she be worth any of it? It doesn't make any sense to her and she doesn't really see how it would make sense if she twisted it in any other direction. She's just that violent loud girl that causes fights, dresses provocatively (for her own self, really), and gets everyone riled up. That's it. That's all.
But she's keeping her silence for now, the only sound her breathing that she's trying so hard to keep steady and in a particular rhythm. She might as well try while she's not under actual physical duress, perhaps.
It seems to be working to steady her nerves, if only for a little bit.]
But what if even with all the talking in the world nothing changes? That you keep doing the same shit over and over again without meaning to and it just stays in that same cycle? That you can't seem to fix no matter what you do?
I can talk all day, I guess, but if things can't or won't change, what does it matter at that point? Or, well, so is the shit I've heard from the therapists or whatever. That I dig my heels in the ground and refuse to change, even if that's bullshit.
no subject
But she's keeping her silence for now, the only sound her breathing that she's trying so hard to keep steady and in a particular rhythm. She might as well try while she's not under actual physical duress, perhaps.
It seems to be working to steady her nerves, if only for a little bit.]
But what if even with all the talking in the world nothing changes? That you keep doing the same shit over and over again without meaning to and it just stays in that same cycle? That you can't seem to fix no matter what you do?
I can talk all day, I guess, but if things can't or won't change, what does it matter at that point? Or, well, so is the shit I've heard from the therapists or whatever. That I dig my heels in the ground and refuse to change, even if that's bullshit.